remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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