fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
