now i know why i became what i already was.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
