Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
