and i looked up. we had an audience...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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