I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
