I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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