There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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