No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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