dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.