I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?