You smell like stripper and shame
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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