It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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