I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
