Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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