Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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