I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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