...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
