I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize