Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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