Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
