'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma