I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
