you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Moan for me like Helen Keller
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
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The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
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Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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