i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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