she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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