just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown