But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
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They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.