Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.