I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
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im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
When are your genitals available?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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