So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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