it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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