good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
