I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
