Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
