The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize