threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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