you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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