She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
