When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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