that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.