She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.