i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.