have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
