He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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