She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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