The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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