So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
