when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize