Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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