...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
