So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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