i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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